Shadows of Deadbeat Dads

He was too busy for your very first birthday,
then he wasn’t there when you learnt how to speak,
At first, mother was the only important person you knew..
Then, something hit you..
your friends got picked from school by men, all called by the same name”Dad”.
That name left so many unanswered questions,
“Mom,Do I have a Dad too? ”
“Janet got a dad and Brian too,do I have one too? ”
‘Yes’ wasn’t good of an answer..
“Can I meet him? Why is he not here😟?”
The thought of him boggled your childhood mind.
All it did was make you mad and curious!
20 years later he still didn’t come home but you saw some pictures or met him once..
Can’t explain it but Your life is full now. Because mother found a way to fix that hole..
You still crave it, subtly.. but it doesn’t tear you apart as it first did..
If he ever thinks of you, love you or even cares if you exist is a mystery..
Today maybe father’s day But you know clearly who took that mantle and gave you the world like no other..
Say thank you mother for filling that hole and for being strong for me..
Thank you for not giving up like he did..
Sorry for having to raise a child on your own without a loving partner.. thank you for overlooking heartbreak to nurture me.. for everything
Say it all, remember how strong she has been for you to be where you are now.. she deserves it all.. remind her she Did it!
She is your Hero and the only soul that valued you beyond anything else!
Happy recognition day to these souls..

Be it a guardian or a mother appreciate them.
Those with responsible fathers in their lives.. you’re the luckiest! Remember them as well.

#Happyfathersday

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Disconnect.

What is left unsaid mostly is how important you need to unplug.
At some point in life you need to change people’s role in your life.
Understand seasons.
Your own life changes every year.
The role you’ve given to some needs to change as well.
Learn to make friends and also learn to unmatch fiends.
Your Life is a balance,
Without it, you are lost

Midnight strangers

It’s midnight, lights off, you hop in your bed.
You Cant sleep, no stress, just insomnia.
Saucing up the night with a little ambience of slow music in the background- Lovely!
A pop sound dings!
its a Notification on your profile,
your posts has been liked 100 times..by a stranger. He even topped that with a DM.
he’s a cutie,a stranger, and with a rich look from the pictures.
Lustful voices at the back of your head, “he’s a smash!” … his pictures are not just impressive they are working magic on you..
But for the pride, for being a girl and to avoid the hoe label, you flush out the first thought. Good play!
He gotta work for it, and you have to play hard– it’s the game.
“Goodnight sweetheart” you’ve already said to the main guy, an hour ago.
Tonight… Its the New guy who got your eye.
Now, you know, The main is either asleep or just doing the same thing – flirting. It’s hard to tell these days.
So, to the new guy…… you REPLY!
Unlike what you expected,He wins and puts the first smile on you.
You set to reply a few more and bid him a goodnight.
But No! It Doesn’t work out…. it’s 3AM.
And You’ve been laughing and rolling your eyes so far up your sockets you can’t stop yourself. You don’t want him to stop. You don’t want to stop! This coaster is climbing to the top.. The music fades far back,you can’t hear it except the nerves striking every time he replies… this should never end.. You actually can’t remember last time you had such a nice chat with a stranger.
He’s been cracking you up you forgot the game.
Giving you the wildest of thoughts, expectations, sparks all over you, you can bloody feel it! you’re falling, shit!
…no longer thinking rational, you just want to meet now.

The Rant… #Social Media.

Fortunate or unfortunate, I don’t know.
Technology made Life easy, or complex — still, I don’t know.
DMs made flirting convenient, it’s inconvenience unseen. Don’t you know?
Retweets for your Loss, likes and comments are the easy way for heartfelt sympathy now….if all that is genuine nowadays, I don’t know!
The media amplified our competition, you wanna post on a better background than her, get more likes than him.
Running on envy, hiding behind likes,
Stressed out on the low and never loving where you are,
Darling,don’t you know?
Your sweat and tears are your tomorrow’s testimony.”
social media Love is complex now,
You might think it’s fake, but I saw a Friend request bloom to a proposal. And Love flourished.💐
Now You may think it’s the way, and accept the request, but think twice sweetheart, Love works different out here.
Some are here for lust,for fun, to stalk,for business, who knows?
It’s love and Hate thing we have for this social platforms. It’s good and bad. Good and Bad- has been the Duality of life. Real or social,that’s how things are.
For me, the good of this platform has come a long way than the bad..
For some, they were brought back home on a hearse. And the Story goes that, they inboxed the wrong guy online.
Before I rest my case,
They told me social media only amplifies who we are, never changed a man.
“Almost to mean we are immutable.”
Well,
It’s easier for bad to change what’s good,
than it is for good to change what’s Bad.
And To be Crystal that is just a game of chance. Never certain.
But Whom am I to question, for I’m a victim and I need guidance, as well.

… About Opinions.

Words,
They are underrated sometimes.
I noticed the reason we have learned to CARE Less about opinions is cause of words,
People have something to say to everything,
And sometimes it’s not pretty.
We are Having Fortified ears to listen to the few positive friends left.
” Never trusting” is a safety measure these days.
You don’t want to say too much “just cos people act like Friends..”
Reason Being, they talk nice in your face but their mouth is full of filth in your absence.

Now you have a bunch of haters you did nothing to.. all thanks to Gossip.

Maybe they hate cos He said a handful truths about your mistakes… like they can Show you a saint.
Words,
Funny how Simple Words can strip men’s esteem,
Some Never flirting again because the pillow talk crushed Him.
Daddy’s girl can’t find a Man Gentle as His Father.
Words,
Words made mother in-law a demon,
Cos she never talked to you as she did with her own children.
Words,
Words Made Jesus sit with a prostitute, Let her wash his feet with her hair, because He understood the weight of unspoken language. Can your pastor do that? .. No, cos the tabloids will break His ministry with Words.. unkind words. (Ponder that)
Words tear personalities,This I know.
Words also Heal. In ways you can’t begin to imagine.
psychologists will support me.
Some were told they were ugly to their face…
Those words still dictate their confidence.
“You’re beautiful” still comes with doubt. Cos you can’t tell if it’s what they see or just a blurt of what you would like to hear.
With my Words,
I made emoji pictures in her mind, She tingles with how I say my verbs.
although she doesn’t like my face, she will still confess my words make her nights..

The one thing that made words inadequate, even to this DAY, was my mother’s Love.

I will Never find the wisdom, because Her Love is forever Inexplicable!❤️.

Bwayne©

Entitled to You.

There are things that will make you unpopular,
Personal Decisions, that will cost you friends,
Salvation will chaff off people you don’t need,
Failures, will cut off fake friends,
Pain will remind you of God,
And Solitude will give you closure.
We are here for a minute,
Embrace your life choices,
Be shameless about God,
Forgive them,
Don’t wait on failure to pray,
Expect loyalty from no one,
don’t beat your self up all day,
This world is here to stay,
You’re not.

The way she opens my heart…

The way she opens my heart, it’s ever so slowly.
Undressing my wishes,
Taking a straight way to my selfish desires,
Nakedly showing me what my heart-dreams could be.
Slowly,
And Carefully,
Tiptoeing through the scariest parts of myself not to rattle my demons,
Shining a little light to my biggest scares,
Covering my wounded esteem, seductively.
Painting, sketching, with words of the fire she sees behind my eyes,
Restoring the true reflection of the Man I should be, with Love.
Gently opening me up,
because she could see me,
See me for who I can be,

I’ve never been so scared (and excited.)❤️